a week off!

I'm so happy to share that this is a week off of antibiotics....  I love not having to base my entire schedule on a pill box, or feeling like my "job" is to tend to Lyme. I love having an appetite, more energy and less pain. I love being able to think a little more clearly--  over the weekend, it was like I was very slowly emerging from a dense fog. And I love noticing any very subtle changes that might be happening in my body. Yesterday, Noah and I went for a run/walk around the lake (he ran, I walked)... I was able to make it around three times! A far cry from a triathlon, but last week, I was only able to walk around it once.

The problem with these weeks off is that I tend to swing way into the other extreme of things. I overdo the exercise, I make plans that I likely won't be able to pull off anytime soon, I dream BIG.

I printed out this great summertime list for the kids....  it's a "no screen-time until" kinda thing....   encouraging things like reading and spending time outdoors and doing creative things, and even doing a little math! I giggled at myself this morning as I was telling Deena about it. While I'm highly motivated now that my head's a little clearer and my body isn't distracting me so much, truth is, next week when I go back on the meds, depending on how I'm feeling, our summertime schedule may wind up being a free-for-all, do-whatever-you-want kind of thing.

I also got out my very unorganized binder of recipes, and yesterday, swore to make it a summer project to get it organized and to actually COOK.  We'll see how that goes..... tee hee.

I also started to think about my circle. During these weeks off, it's easy to think, "Well, by January, I'm surely going to be feeling so much better. I could do this, I could do that...  so I might as well start planning it now. "  However, last week, just days ago, I was having an existential crisis of sorts...  wondering if I'm "supposed" to be focusing on other things, and questioning if I even want to go back to doing what I was doing. I imagine that for most people, living with a persistant illness of any sort is like tossing all of the elements of one's life up into air and waiting to see where they end up falling...  and I am certainly no exception!

So this week, I'm trying to be deeply present. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself, and I'm trying to sit with the questions rather than rely on answers that will inevitably change from week to week and day to day. I'm trying not to overdo, yet I'm also focused on not taking these clearer more energetic days for granted.

That's me in a nutshell. :)