everything is a miracle

Well, we're starting off Round 3 of the "incubation phase" a day late....  due to some scary happenings. I've been fighting off a cold for the last few days, and Sunday night, I got up with a stuffy nose around 2am and took some Cold Snap and some oregano oil capsules...  thinking I could ward it off. Well, as far as we could tell two hours later, that stuff should maybe not be taken on an empty stomach! I woke up at 4am feeling very nauseous--  ran to the bathroom, with Deena following right behind. I sat on the edge of the bathtub, and began feeling like I was going to pass out. Deena held me up, reassured me, and encouraged me to take some deep breaths.

The next thing I remember is hearing Deena yelling. It sounded as though she was far, far away, or talking through a long tube. She was yelling for Zoe to call 911, and calling my name. Eventually, her voice got closer, and I began to come out of what felt like a thick fog.  I was no longer nauseous but was very shaky.  Luckily, Zoe hadn't woken up enough to actually call 911.  Eventually, I was able to hobble out to the couch where Deena and I spent the rest of the early morning hours watching House Hunters International, trying to distract ourselves from what had just happened.

I had never fainted in my life. Not only that, but when Deena described it to me later, in tears no less, we realized it was more than just your average fainting spell. Here's how it went from her side of things...

When I said I felt like I was going to pass out, she didn't believe it would actually happen. And then it did. And evidently,  I started to make very loud gutteral grunty sounds.... she tried to hold me aimed for the toilet, thinking maybe I was going to throw up... but then, my body flung to the side,  my eyes rolled back in my head, and one of my arms flew up into the air, while my fingers curled up in some weird, monster-like fashion. Then, all of a sudden, everything stopped....  my body became limp in her arms. My eyes and my mouth were open, but she thought I had stopped breathing, and evidently, I looked lifeless. That's when she yelled for Zoe to call 911.

Hearing that just a few weeks shy of when one of my online friends collapsed and died for no apparent reason whatsoever jolted me to the core.

But I'm fine now.

One doctor said it was probably what's called a "convulsive syncope," which is a seizure-like episode that can happen following a faint, while another called it a "vasovagal response"-- both of which are pretty harmless as long as you don't fall and hit your head.  I have since had a normal EKG, a brain check-up, and a good lookin' over, and I'm no more worse for wear, except for this darn cold that has this natural-medicine freak begging for Nyquil.

The thing is, to both Deena and I, it didn't feel so simple. She will forever have that one moment etched in her brain, when she thought I wasn't breathing. And I can't shake the feeling that she "called me back" from somewhere I might not have returned from otherwise. While I know that sounds rather dramatic, truth is that it was weird, intense, and has left us both teary in one another's presence, feeling so lucky to have one another, and grateful to be alive.

So while I was supposed to start another week of antibiotics yesterday, we put it off until today...  until we knew that I could indeed handle it. This is the last round of the induction phase, and then in three weeks, I'll be meeting with my amazing doc and determining what comes next. She thinks I'm responding well thus far, after finally finding the right drug combination. Aside from the worst cold I've had in YEARS, the herxing today hasn't been too bad (knock on wood).  It's primarily manifesting as very sore and tender elbows.  Tomorrow I have a magnesium IV that will hopefully help with that.

I just want to be able to BREATHE, dammit. There are only so many times I can do the neti pot in one day! Luckily, I have the okay for some Nyquil at bedtime.

This week's protocol:
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday:  minocin, ceftin, & septra (increasing my evening doses)
Friday & Saturday:  flagyl