monkeys and gall bladders

The trip to the zoo was lovely and challenging all at once...

As we started off on Saturday, we all had a sense of adventure planted deeply in our hearts...  we left good and early, planning to arrive as the zoo was opening at 10am.

Well, just about forty-five minutes or so down the road, we were stopped on the interstate...  turns out that during some blasting they were doing that morning, they had had a bit of a rockslide that closed both lanes. They suggested going back to Asheville, and then getting to Knoxville using a very roundabout way....  another guy told us about a back way we could go that might be quicker.  After some squabbling that nearly led us back home again, we chose the latter.

What was supposed to be a two hour drive wound up being just over four hours, through curvy mountain roads riddled with kudzu and confederate flags. We asked for an adventure, and adventure sure was what we got!

The zoo brought up all of the paradoxical emotions that it usually does...  the joy of being so close to wild animals, and yet, the fact that they are there in the first place broke my heart yet again. The elephants were particularly sad this trip...  they were separated for some reason, and they all seemed bored and restless, swaying back and forth as if trying to comfort themselves.

Eventually, we made our way to the primates, which as far as I'm concerned, is pretty much the only reason to visit a zoo. Most of the gorillas were inside hiding away, as it was quite chilly outside, but both new babies and their mamas were in smaller nurseries where we were able to watch them for a bit. They were adorable....  but the real connection came with the chimpanzees, especially the one pictured above.

When I got there, he was sitting near the window, examining his hands, and what looked like a little scrape on one of them. I sat down next to him, and we proceeded to show one another our hands for fifteen minutes or so, before I swear he made some sort of sign, and then rolled over onto his back. We hung out together for a while just like that, and then, just as the kids were getting impatient with me, he got up and walked away.

On top of the usual mixed zoo feelings, there was also the fact that I wore out a lot easier than I had during past visits....  still, I feel like I held up pretty good, and when we left, we headed into downtown Knoxville for lunch at Tomato Head, which was a slightly insane move seeing as how there was a BIG football game getting ready to happen, and we felt extremely out of place not wearing orange as we navigated our way through lots of traffic.  But it was a good healthy meal... afterwhich my body declared it was DONE.

So we headed to our hotel and relaxed. Luckily, the rockslide was cleaned up by the time we needed to go home the next morning.

I wasn't prepared for Monday morning though. A short weekend away after over a week off of meds felt like a vacation, and it's hard to get back into the swing of things...  not to mention that Monday also means it's time to make some important decisions.

I had my ultrasound this morning, and as I pretty much expected, the woman said it was filled with stones...  she said it was so full of stones that she couldn't see the inside of my gall bladder, but that the wall did not appear inflamed. Now I wait to get the official report through my general doctor's perspective, and we'll go from there.

The thing is, I've been here twice before, once back in college, and once about 4 years ago, when gallstones brought me to my nutritionist in another attempt at avoiding surgery. I've done gall bladder cleanses and I've changed my diet completely, and this time, there's not really that much more I can take out of my diet without feeling like I will be in prison for the rest of my life. Soooo...  I'm doing some hard thinking, and decided not to go back on my meds quite yet.

My friend, Whitney, who is also an acupuncturist, says that in Chinese medicine, the gall bladder is the "decision maker."  How ironic, eh? I can feel my gut leaning in the direction of taking it out (both physically and intuitively!)...  not that I want to, but there's something telling me it's time. I've already been emailing with my lyme doc, and she said while stones alone are not usually enough of an indication to remove it, my history with pain might indeed be, and that she'd rather it be an elective versus an emergency surgery.

If ever there was a time that I wish that all of my doctors and I could sit down and have a powwow, this would be it.

So now, I'm in wait and see mode. I'm in deep breathing mode. I'm in learning to trust my gut mode.  I'm in trying-like-hell-to-be-patient mode.  :)