Okay, so remember when I was talking about herxing a couple of posts ago?
Turns out that was nothing. Or perhaps it was something, but relatively speaking, well.... let's just say I had no earthly idea of what I was talking about!
This week, we switched out the azithromycin for bactrim instead.... and while my tummy is as happy as can be (evidently the azithromycin was the cause of all those nasty digestive issues), wow, my body is responding in every other way possible.
I made it home with the kids yesterday afternoon just in time... shortly after we settled in for the evening, I started to not feel quite right in the head. My folks called to wish me a happy birthday, and I had a difficult time talking to them, as though I kept stumbling over and losing words. I felt like my brain was over-stimulated... couldn't listen to music, had to keep the kids quiet. Noah made supper-- grilled cheese sandwiches is his specialty. I developed a low-grade fever. I took a detox bath, but it didn't seem to help a whole lot. By the time I went to bed, my elbows and knees were hurting. So much that it was hard to walk or lift anything without support.
I didn't sleep very well. I was okay if I were to lie perfectly still... but if I moved at all, my head pounded. Got up a couple of times to pee during the night and felt like I was drunk. At 4am, I took some advil... and was finally able to fall back asleep around 5. I had a dream about being kicked by a herd of camels. When I woke up at 6am, my head no longer hurt, and the dizzy drunk feeling had gotten a bit better. My elbows and knees were a bit better too.... but my legs ache... this deep, dull, heavy ache that makes it hard to stand in place for more than a few seconds. I'd rather be walking or sitting or lying down.
I've been assured that this is all normal. I'm taking herbs and alkaseltzer gold to detox, and I imagine today, I'll be in the bathtub more than once. Which reminds me... I need to order more epsom salts. It's looking very likely that I'll be taking next week off of my antibiotics, and am looking forward to feeling more like myself. That will complete our first official, wacky and imperfect round of antibiotics!
I knew this would be hard. But damn. I realized this morning that I need help. I'm looking for help in getting the kids home from school today and tomorrow, because honestly, I'm not sure I can drive. Actually no. I know I am unable to drive. Gosh, for a control freak like me, that's really hard to say out loud. I have put out a few emails/texts to those I know I can ask.
And I imagine that the kiddos will be making dinner again tonight. Noah wants to do it all. He's having a difficult time with all of this. After I lost an online friend a couple of days ago (she was a healthy and vibrant 43 year old who simply collapsed and died), I think he's afraid of that happening to me, as much as I reassure him that it's all normal. He was trying to fake not feeling well today so that he could stay home with me. Precious little man.
I'm also being reminded that stress is my worst enemy right now. Yesterday was difficult, stress-wise. I need to back off of anything that adds to the load right now. I fear that to some, this might seem heartless or insensitive, but my body is clearly at its limits right now. And so I shall continue to keep my heart in the right place, and hope for understanding, love, and peace.
Okay, I can't sit here anymore. So I'm headed off to attempt to do a little bit of yoga before making a cozy nest on the couch, trusting that I'll be able to get myself up off the floor again afterwards! And I hope to paint some today. Above is a painting I started yesterday, on my birthday, to honor both the coming year, and to honor my friend, Kim, who left this world way too soon....
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